I'm shy to let my friends read my books

Here's the thing. You don't write to be admired. You write because there is something burning inside you to be said. The question to your friends is not, do you like it? Do you think it's good? Did I do a good job? The question is, do you get it yet? Do you understand what I am saying?

If not, that does not mean there is anything wrong with you. I just means you have not learned enough about writing and storytelling yet to get your message across. Yes, you may feel frustrated that you have not managed to get your idea across to them yet. But that is beside the point. The point is that the thing inside you is still burning to be said, so time to get to work and figure out how to say it. Because if you are really going to be a writer, it will keep burning until you actually get people to hear it.

If there isn't something inside you burning to be said, though, don't write. Or at least, don't write for the public. Writing is not an efficient means to get people to like you or admire you. In fact, it is a lonely profession. If you want an artistic accomplishment that will help your social life, learn to play the guitar. Everyone loves a musician.

Don't write. It is a stupid way to make a living and a stupid way to have a social life. Don't write unless the thing burning in your head to be said cannot be snuffed out in any other way.

And if you can't snuff it out in any other way, then it does not matter what your friends think of you. It only matters that they hear you.

posted over 7 years ago

CC BY-SA 4.0

Mark Baker‭

4351 reputation 12 1104 742 58

Some of this might sound cliche, but it's what I often cling to when I'm feeling insecure about letting anyone look at something I'm working on. That being said, even experienced writers often have trouble letting go of their work. Writers are typically predisposed to keeping everything they've created under lock-and-key until it's absolutely perfect. The problem for most writers is that it's difficult (and often impossible) to ever feel as if something is good enough to be seen by anyone. Personally nothing has made me feel more vulnerable than sending a Google doc off to someone, knowing that I'm bound to have dozens of comments on every little detail, most of which I hadn't even considered.

You've alluded to being shy about sending your books to your friends to read, and you're completely justified in feeling that way. However, the reality is that unfortunately, you can't control how people react to your writing. And in a lot of ways, that's really, really good news. Even better, if your friends represent the audience you'd ultimately like your books to reach on a larger scale, their feedback will help you shape future drafts.

So, there isn't really any hard-and-fast advice I can give about how to remedy your anxiety. But, I'd encourage you to be brave and send it off for review, especially if you have a group of friends you trust with giving you constructive feedback (even if it's not what you want to hear). If you have a feeling your "friends" will rip into your work just for the sake of having a bit of fun at your expense, find a different group to get feedback from. Writers groups are fairly easy to find online, and because most of us are of a similarly sensitive mindset, there's a great deal of solidarity to be found when you're asking for help from people who have been (and are still) in your shoes.

posted over 8 years ago

CC BY-SA 3.0

Rich Moy‭

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