Communities

Writing
Writing
Codidact Meta
Codidact Meta
The Great Outdoors
The Great Outdoors
Photography & Video
Photography & Video
Scientific Speculation
Scientific Speculation
Cooking
Cooking
Electrical Engineering
Electrical Engineering
Judaism
Judaism
Languages & Linguistics
Languages & Linguistics
Software Development
Software Development
Mathematics
Mathematics
Christianity
Christianity
Code Golf
Code Golf
Music
Music
Physics
Physics
Linux Systems
Linux Systems
Power Users
Power Users
Tabletop RPGs
Tabletop RPGs
Community Proposals
Community Proposals
tag:snake search within a tag
answers:0 unanswered questions
user:xxxx search by author id
score:0.5 posts with 0.5+ score
"snake oil" exact phrase
votes:4 posts with 4+ votes
created:<1w created < 1 week ago
post_type:xxxx type of post
Search help
Notifications
Mark all as read See all your notifications »
Q&A

Generally would an onomatopoeia come before or after the source action is implied

+0
−0

I have a section which uses an onomatopoeia but I can write it in 2 ways

The onomatopoeia before source action is implied:

"you do realize that she's the personification of the tome. your processing your love for a inanimate object"

*SLAP!*

it was an instant response with total disregard to the possible repercussion, it was all Hayate could do short from wanting to ring Nevulis's neck "I won't have you talk about her like that. Reinforce is alive! could an inanimate object be the father of our daughter!"

The onomatopoeia after source action is implied:

"you do realize that she's the personification of the tome. your processing your love for a inanimate object"

Hayate's rage boiled over. without thinking, ignoring the possible repercussions from Nevulis her hand rose and...

*SLAP!*

"I won't have you talk about her like that. Reinforce is alive! could an inanimate object be the father of our daughter!"

In both cases it's implied that the slap has come from Hayate striking Nevulis in anger from her comment. I am wondering which is generally more accepted, the onomatopoeia coming before or after the source action is implied.

History
Why does this post require moderator attention?
You might want to add some details to your flag.
Why should this post be closed?

This post was sourced from https://writers.stackexchange.com/q/25597. It is licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0.

0 comment threads

2 answers

You are accessing this answer with a direct link, so it's being shown above all other answers regardless of its score. You can return to the normal view.

+0
−0

First, that is not an onomatopoeia. A slap does not sound like the word slap.

Second, this technique is ineffective either way. You can't turn up the volume in prose using caps and asterisks. Nor can you do sound effects. This is the page, not the screen. All words are read as the same speed and volume. To make any moment dramatic or surprising, you have to set it up properly.

History
Why does this post require moderator attention?
You might want to add some details to your flag.

0 comment threads

+1
−0

This isn't a comic strip, it's prose. Written this way, the slap seems cartoony. I'd much rather you describe the action than simply recite the sound it makes.

History
Why does this post require moderator attention?
You might want to add some details to your flag.

0 comment threads

Sign up to answer this question »