"Dear Stack Exchange, I am very disappointed in you" - How to construct a strong opening line in a letter?

"I am horrified to find..." whatever you are horrified to have discovered

"I am most disappointed..." or maybe "I am shocked" or if the event you are writing about is worse you can say "I am appalled to discover..." or "I am disgusted to find that..."

Or you can readily swap to a past tense by "I was..."

English has many ways to express dislike of something... depending on the degree of dislike or horror or shock that you felt on hearing of the events. Disappointed is fairly mild, appalled and horrified tend to be for more strongly felt disappointment or dislike, disgusted is more appropriate perhaps for things that are repellent, such as if you heard that Stack Exchange had dismissed the person for having skin of the wrong colour.

You can amplify the stronger words by being 'utterly' as well... "I was utterly disgusted to hear..." implies that there is very little more disgusting you can imagine.

posted about 5 years ago

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houninym‭

15 reputation 0 1 3 0

I think there are two important aspects that you should make clear:

• That you indeed do care about the issue. Your letter is not just a rant, you sincerely are concerned about the damage the issue does or may do to what you consider important.

• Why the addressed should care. The issue is not just something you personally disagree with, but something that may negatively affect also the addressed one.

Also, if possible, you should address the letter not to the entity, but to a specific person.

Here's a possible opening for a letter to Stack Exchange about the recent issues (I didn't take the time to figure out who at Stack Exchange this would best be addressed at, so I just use the fake name “Ms. Stack Employee”):

Dear Ms. Stack Employee,

As a long time user of the Stack Exchange network, up to now my overall impression of your company was mainly positive. However unfortunately the recent events challenged that assessment, to the point that I'm now reconsidering whether the site is worth my future investment in that site.

Note that I used the term investment deliberately; while I'm not invested monetarily, the effort I put in this site is indeed a non-monetary investment of which I expect a non-monetary payoff. I'm concerned that your recent actions may do enough damage to your main asset, the goodwill of your user base, that the expected payoff won't materialize. The fact that many moderators, who are both better informed and more invested in this site, decided to reduce or stop their investment in this site doesn't help to reassure me that your site is still worth my trust.

These two paragraphs address the above points in the following ways:

• By noting that I'm a long time user, I make it clear that I have a genuine interest in the site's well-being.

• By noting that my positive assessment is challenged, I make clear that I'm not yet determined on my reassessment. That is, the future actions of Stack Exchange actually matter.

• By using financial language, I hint at the possibility that monetary investors might also be drawn to reconsider their investment. Of course I cannot state it because I don't know it (although if I were a monetary investor, I certainly would think about my investment strategy now).

• I openly state that, in my opinion, their main asset (note the financial term, again) is the goodwill of their user base. Which in turn implies that any damage to that goodwill is a damage to the company, something the company certainly cares about.

• I state my concern about the damage they did to this main asset, and how it personally affects me (again using financial terms).

• Finally, I make it clear that this is not just my personal opinion, but that people who are mode informed and more invested in the site not only share my concern, but are already taking action, and that this very fact also adds to my own doubts. In other words, they should care about my opinion because it's not just mine.

Note that the above text doesn't yet say much about the actual incident. The following text would then have to detail why exactly the current events are so troubling.

posted about 5 years ago

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celtschk‭

740 reputation 16 53 99 13

I have found that the approach varies, depending on your intent.

If you believe that the person will listen to you, then you want a friendly approach.

"Dear stack exchange, I have been engaged in this community for a number of years and have always enjoyed my time here, but recent events have left me disappointed."

or, if you feel that a stronger tone is needed....

"Dear stack exchange, I find your recent actions to be most disturbing. Not only were your actions abrupt, and without justification, your stone-walling against any inquiry demonstrates a complete lack of respect for the community"

If you want to give it some British subtlety, you could always try this route.

"Dear stack exchange, I find your recent actions to be quite brave, and I mean that in the same spirit that one MP would mean it when addressing another"

Snark is always a good approach.

"Dear Stack exchange, I want to thank you for your bold new approach towards management. Most companies, when confronted with a mistake would make a humble apology and move to correct their actions. I find your approach to be quite refreshing."

posted about 5 years ago

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Don Thermidor_Lobster Mobster‭

5 reputation 0 1 1 0

It depends on what your goal is --an open letter can have many different audiences, and the putative addressee may not be the actual target. With that said, the best structure for a persuasive argument is to start with common ground, and to show how the same things that all sides agree on lead inevitably towards your conclusion. Then, bring things full circle by showing that things that both sides value are endangered or at stake.

Dear Stack Exchange,

Your site --which is really "our" site under the crowdsourcing model! --is rooted in (and dependent for its survival on) mutual trust, a spirit of generosity, and a respect for everyone's ability to contribute.

Which is why it's so dangerous to the interests of the network as a whole that a recent decision --while it may have been made with the best intentions, and in pursuit of the above aims --had the actual impact of violating every one of those core norms. The sudden, seemingly arbitrary de-modification of Monica Cellio, a long-standing, well-respected, and tirelessly contributing member of the larger SE community, has alienated crucial key members of said community, and stands to endanger much of the essential good will that SE has spent so long building.

It's hard to see how SE can survive if this becomes the new normal. You are literally only and exactly as strong as your community support.

posted about 5 years ago

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Chris Sunami‭

1355 reputation 13 171 261 0

"Dear SE, I don't even know how to express how disappointed I am in you--literally. Because I don't know all the facts. But all the indications I've seen make me fear that the full facts would only make my current disappointment even greater."

Thereby:

• Injecting some smartass humour, but also

• Expressing how huge your current disappointment is, while

• Acknowledging we don't know all the facts yet, even though

• What we have heard so far is pretty damning indeed, and furthermore

• Stressing things look very bad and it would take a very surprising save on their part to fix things

Oh, and they should really show up and own up to this epic fail on their part. ASAP. At the very least. And it's absolutely not enough--just a start.

posted about 5 years ago

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sesquipedalias‭

178 reputation 5 28 25 6

When you begin a letter with a rant, especially if it is rude or bossy, it is unlikely to be taken on board, by the reader, or get the results you want.

The best opener in my view, establishes your credentials, mentions common ground, and creates a relationship with the reader, something like this:

As a member of Stack Exchange with n years experience and n answers posted, I have come to expect and enjoy an egalitarian and fair environment of communal sharing and collaboration for the common good.

Instead of trying to create the entire letter in the first paragraph, I suggest you slow down and craft a letter properly, which in my view best comprises these elements:

1. It is addressed to the top person by name (ie, the CEO)
2. A polite opener establishes your credentials, common ground, and relationship to the reader.
3. A paragraph describes the problem and how it makes you feel
4. A closing paragraph explains how you’ll react or action you’ll take if the issue is not addressed
5. Yours Sincerely, your name

Bear in mind that a letter is the opener of your conversation with someone. It need not be the final soliloquy of your life! More can follow.

Writing a long rant with an ‘in your face’ opening is not likely to get you what you want, in my view. It is also coming from a place of ‘expecting not to be heard’ - like a parental 3 year old.

Instead, come from a place of being a grownup, talking like an adult, in order to be taken seriously and get the results you want.

I also think that paragraph depth is always a great indicator of ‘emotion’. Those stout wordy paragraphs full of vitriol are best kept for your friend or therapist.

Once you’ve calmed down, craft a proper brief letter that clearly states your case, and will be more likely to get results.

Lastly, Mark Twain has a great quote on this: ‘sorry for the long letter - for I did not have time to write a short one!’

Here is the letter as I would write it:

Dear (name),

As a member of Stack Exchange with n years experience and n answers posted, I have come to expect and enjoy an egalitarian and fair environment of communal sharing and collaboration for the common good.

It was therefore of great shock and disappointment to me to discover that a moderator has recently been dismissed in what I consider to be a very unfair and summary manner.

I am writing therefore, to ask that you look into this, and to ask you to reconsider the decision that was made.

I have to tell you that if appropriate action is not taken on this issue, I will consider deleting my Stack Exchange account and leaving the service.

Yours Sincerely

posted about 5 years ago

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Jelila‭

5 reputation 0 1 1 0