Should you "Show, Don't Tell" when your character is recounting events?
"Show, don't tell" is a popular ethos amongst writers, and one that is very important to writing engaging stories. However, I'm in a situation whereby my protagonist is recounting an event from a previous chapter, revealing something specific that she noticed whilst the events were occurring.
Whilst John was puffing his chest out, getting all hot under the collar, and not doing anything specific to exonerate himself, Lana witnessed Terrence, stood in John's shadow, moving deeper and deeper in to what she perceived as guilt, at least for his part, in the crime.
The part of the sentence I'm having trouble with is:
Lana witnessed Terrence [...] moving deeper and deeper in to what she perceived as guilt
This is, of course, telling rather than showing. However, this is a recount of the event; Lana's perspective, what she felt and what she witnessed. More importantly than what she witnessed, this is how she interpreted what she witnessed. Her perception of the event in this case, is perhaps more important to the story than the actual event itself.
In this case, is 'telling' appropriate?
This post was sourced from https://writers.stackexchange.com/q/14407. It is licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0.
1 answer
Describe what she's seeing which makes her perceive Terrence's emotions.
Lana looked over at Terrence, who had deliberately put himself into John's shadow. Emotions flickered over Terrence's face like a cascade of sparks. He couldn't quite look at John, but kept stealing glances upward. He bit his lower lip and ducked his head, flinching as John swung his arm to punctuate some point. Terrence hunched his head, his mouth twitching, and worry lines rippled across his forehead. Lana realized he felt guilty for what he'd done.
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