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Q&A

How to write a good sex scene specifically for erotica?

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This is unlike the question How to write good erotic scene?, which refers to a sub-plot of a novel in which two characters had sex. There the accepted answer essentially evades any detailed descriptions of the act, by focusing on appearance, or feelings and specifically NOT about genitalia or the actions involved in having sex. Other respondents suggesting similar methods of "hiding" the sex scene, stopping with a kiss or embrace, and jumping to a point after the sex has happened.

In erotica, the whole reason the reader is reading is for a lengthy and detailed blow-by-blow sex scene, that is the nature of the genre, and the treatment of sex in a novel or R-rated movie defeats that purpose. The reader wants a fully imagined sex scene, genitalia, penetrations, orgasms, fluids, the whole thing. Perhaps for masturbation or perhaps as a scene to reenact with a willing partner for role-playing fun. (If you are put off by these purposes, this question is not for you!)

All of that said, I write erotica. Typically these stories have a setup and scenario which I can describe quite well. However, once I get to the... main event... I find it much too easy to fall into the trap of clichés about crashing waves and rolling eyes.

I think perhaps other writers can provide a good way of thinking about such scenes to accomplish this, or perhaps ways in which this is similar to other writing tasks for which more advice exists.

What approach can I use to tackle writing long and detailed explicit sex scenes without turning away, that are varied and will sexually excite my readers without using silly similes or boring my reader?

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2 answers

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In my opinion, erotic writing is more about frustration than fulfillment, even in an explicit context. Once you give the reader exactly what they want, you've spent your load, so to speak. So you want to put that moment off, while still keeping the reader engaged. There's plenty of things an explicit writer can use for this purpose --sex with the wrong person, sex interrupted, innuendo, transparent symbolism, dirty talk, voyeurism, and so forth.

Then, when you're ready to end the story with a bang --so to speak-- pull out all the stops, make it quick, and don't worry if it's cliched. It's the journey that will be memorable, not the destination.

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I use two approaches: First, like @ggx, I steer clear of metaphors and similes in describing anything about the physical parts. The characters think and use the words they are accustomed to using and thinking, any description or dialogue is direct.

The second approach (in combination with this) is describing feelings, again as realistically as I can. Here, I may use metaphors and similes, memories and internal justifications for why somebody is doing something, enjoying something etc. Say my heroine prefers receiving oral stimulation to intercourse: Why? is it the only way she can achieve orgasm? Does it give her a feeling of power, does it make her lover subservient? Does it lessen her experience if her lover stops during her orgasm? Is it important for her to watch her lover's performance, or does she close her eyes and focus on sensation alone? How important is it to watch? Does she have mirrors strategically placed for this exact reason?

In general, what's going on in her head? To me, it is a cop-out to just say "it feels better", that is a "telling", not a "showing."

Likewise; I do refrain from anything identically repetitive, or any blank-minded sequences (often the same thing). I "compress" those areas with implied time passage; it is NOT erotic to detail every thrust and withdraw, or every moment of fifteen minutes worth of some sex act. You must find a way to "fast forward" through that, in a sentence or two, to something new.

Finally, I'd say beware going over-the-top on anything. Sex can be enjoyable without being the best sex the world has ever seen, the most beautiful woman the world has ever seen, the best cunnilingus she has ever enjoyed, etc.

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