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Q&A

What is a subtle way of mentioning a man became physically aroused?

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In my novel, I'm currently writing from a male's perspective and I need a bit of help. It's not an erotic book, but I'm writing a flashback from his teenage years which involves a bosom hug and I think it's realistic and fitting to mention something subtle about him getting an erection but I have absolutely no idea how to phrase it.

My character is a very reserved individual, who would never use your typical terminology. In a previous chapter, he referred to masturbation cryptically as a "catharsis" (which was fitting in the context).

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3 answers

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  1. If a teenage boy feels sexually excited, that's all you need to say and male readers will understand.

  2. A roundabout way to describe is having to rearrange his equipment or having to hide his excitement by holding a book over his lap.

  3. Teenage boys use words like "erection" and "hard on" all the time.

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You could be vague and mention him feeling his trousers or pants "getting tighter", or something of the like. It's pretty much the standard imagery used to represent an erection without actually mentioning anything, and it's also a quite accurate physical description that your male readers will have no problems identifying.

For pretty much the same reasons, you can mention him having troubles walking due to his trousers becoming slightly uncomfortable.

This is pretty much everything you can say (that's coming to my mind) about the physical feelings without going into details.

Psychologically, you can mention him being embarassed in his excitement: he could be afraid of the other character becoming aware of his erection during the hug. Again, this would be realistic and you can easily say something along the lines of "[he] feared [the other character] noticing his arousal" and you'd be ok.

Depending on his age and on his stage of sexual maturity, he may be unexperienced with the whole erection thing. This is not the norm, but it might be your case. Even if he is experienced - aka not unfamiliar with erections and even masturbation - he may feel a bit confused, his thoughts will lose a bit of focus, and he may shift his attention on his bodily sensations (the softness of the hug against his body, the scent of the other character). He might feel it as inappropriate, happening in the worst moment and a bother.

In the end it depends on how you want to play it; since he remembers it after so much time, I'm assuming it was quite a relevant event.

Arousal may make him want more of that pleasurable contact, like reciprocating the hug, or again he may stare at the other character with a different gaze.

So, there's quite a lot you could say depending on how the character feels about the erection (excitement vs lust vs embarassment). Let me know if it helped.

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This question borders on "what to write" instead of "how to write", so I will concentrate on the latter.

If your character has masturbated, he has had erections. Probably every day, since teen age boys do. If he is "reserved" and doesn't like to think in crude terms, then he will have invented his own words for this phenomenon.

Changing "masturbation" to "catharsis" is focusing on the emotional result instead of the activity. I would focus on a similar language transition for an erection: Focus more on the emotional result.

I think "tight trousers" is a cliché, and doesn't really convey what the character is feeling. It is also not entirely accurate, men and boys can wear brief and keep their penis angled down, in that case they can have an erection that doesn't show. Most boys figure that out early, and don't "pitch a tent", as the slang goes.

Also, erections are not all or nothing; they can vary from "chub" to full staff, depending on the level of arousal. For somebody in a bosom hug, I wouldn't assume a full and raging erection; I'd guess the boy had the beginning of one, a partial erection.

Were I writing, I'd focus on the emotions this causes. Between males and females, I'd guess the frequency of unwanted or inappropriate sexual arousal is higher in males, and the sensations may differ somewhat (although engorgement and increased sensitivity are common to both genders), but I'd also guess the emotions of unwanted or inappropriate sexual arousal would be similar, and by focusing on those we can cross the gender-gap.

I also wouldn't try to summarize this in a word or two; if this is an infrequent occurrence in the story, you don't need a shorthand. Allow yourself a sentence or two, to convey the feeling accurately. Remember, readers don't mind reading.

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