Communities

Writing
Writing
Codidact Meta
Codidact Meta
The Great Outdoors
The Great Outdoors
Photography & Video
Photography & Video
Scientific Speculation
Scientific Speculation
Cooking
Cooking
Electrical Engineering
Electrical Engineering
Judaism
Judaism
Languages & Linguistics
Languages & Linguistics
Software Development
Software Development
Mathematics
Mathematics
Christianity
Christianity
Code Golf
Code Golf
Music
Music
Physics
Physics
Linux Systems
Linux Systems
Power Users
Power Users
Tabletop RPGs
Tabletop RPGs
Community Proposals
Community Proposals
tag:snake search within a tag
answers:0 unanswered questions
user:xxxx search by author id
score:0.5 posts with 0.5+ score
"snake oil" exact phrase
votes:4 posts with 4+ votes
created:<1w created < 1 week ago
post_type:xxxx type of post
Search help
Notifications
Mark all as read See all your notifications »
Q&A

Male viewpoint in an erotic novel

+0
−0

Most erotica today is written by and for women, and bestselling erotica is narrated from a female point of view. The "male pornographic gaze" that sexualizes the female body has been considered offensive by the predominant culture and mostly eradicated from contemporary mainstream literature. But men still lust over female physiology. Is it possible to narrate that experience of male sexual lust without offending female readers? How?

History
Why does this post require moderator attention?
You might want to add some details to your flag.
Why should this post be closed?

This post was sourced from https://writers.stackexchange.com/q/47827. It is licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0.

0 comment threads

2 answers

+1
−0

Erotica is not a genre I read, but the lusting male gaze in some fantasy and sci-fi - I cannot say that I always find it offensive. On the contrary - I can find it quite pleasant. I want to be lusted after this way.

Which is, I think, the key to your question: consider how a woman would want to be wanted, and how she wouldn't want to be wanted.

What are some differences?

  • Heinlein's characters, for example, never consider that a woman might not be interested. Of course she is, or will be. Which is to say the woman has no character, no agency. She isn't a person, but an object with no will. That - I don't like.
  • A man might be attracted to a woman's appearance, but she has other character traits, doesn't she? A man might be drawn by a woman's wit, strength, the way she moves. Or he might be repulsed by her cruelty, no matter how pretty she is. When a woman is nothing but a chunk of meat or a barbie doll, it is disturbing.
  • There is the question of consent. Wanting to "do things to her" is objectifying. Wanting to do things with her, or have her do things to the guy is more interesting.

Which all boils down to: in the man's thoughts, treat the woman as a person, not an object. Men, for the most part, want women rather than sex dolls. Women want to be wanted as women, definitely not sex dolls. Win-win.

History
Why does this post require moderator attention?
You might want to add some details to your flag.

0 comment threads

+1
−0

The problem I see is the double standard in sexualization. It seems much more acceptable nowadays for women to a have a lusty look on (attractive) men than the other way around. The cause for this might be the still living cliché that men tend to only think this way while women 'just do it for fun'.

But this discussion is not the main point here. Personally I just strongly dislike sexualization of male or female in either way.

Describing the male view point I would make sure that lust is not the only thing the protagonist sees in his (physical) love interest. As long as he is not controlled by his sex drive there are plenty other things he recognizes on her and in her personality.

She always pins up her hair to a loose bun, revealing the skin of her neck. He tries not to constantly look, dissipating the thought of touching the soft skin behind her ear with his lips. But every time he regains control over his flittering thoughts, she smoothes some loose wisps back, catching his eyes with her secretive movements.

If you are able to show that his thoughts are more than

See woman, want sex

you should have no problem. It is indeed utterly impossible to not offend anyone. But if you write in a respectful manner, the only ones to be outraged will most probably be misandrics that aren't your target audience anyways.

History
Why does this post require moderator attention?
You might want to add some details to your flag.

This post was sourced from https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/47830. It is licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0.

0 comment threads

Sign up to answer this question »