Using senses and similes in descriptions
I'm trying to make my descriptions to look less like a bunch of bullet points. So I decided to use more senses and similes.
This is something I wrote:
The sun hung in the cloudless sky, like a sentinel looking over the world, welcoming the starting day, warming every plant and creature on earth. I took a lungful of fresh, morning air, and suddenly everything started to look bright and new; the elderly doing their morning exercises, the youth sitting across each other in breakfast shops, the trees swinging softly in the wind. I felt as if I were watching these daily sights for the first time.
Am I doing it effectively? Or I'm overdoing it? If so, how can I improve it? (by the way, am I cluttering the paragraph with too many adjectives?)
This post was sourced from https://writers.stackexchange.com/q/7578. It is licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0.
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