Is it correct to use verbs like "sighed" and "laughed" as dialogue tags?
In other words, is it correct to write something like this:
"Oh," he laughed. "Sorry, I'm not sure what's with me today."
(Every time I see something like this, I think: "How is this peson laughing an talking at the same time? But other times seems OK for me. Strange.)
as an shorter version of this?
"Oh," he said with a laugh. "Sorry, I'm not sure what's with me today."
"Oh," he said laughing. "Sorry, I'm not sure what's with me today."
Other example:
"OK," she said with a sigh. "Just this time."
"OK," she said, sighing. "Just this time."
"OK," she sighed. "Just this time."
Because I've noticed by dialogues are cluttering with "withs" all of the sudden.
This post was sourced from https://writers.stackexchange.com/q/8121. It is licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0.
1 answer
I don't have a problem with them (they're called bookisms, I believe) if:
- You don't overdo it. It's tempting to make every dialogue tag something vivid or extra. Don't. D.W. Smith pointed out in a writing tutorial once that "the word said is invisible." It really is. Be judicious with bookisms. Think of them as salt: a little is good; too much ruins the dish.
-
You use them when they are necessary. That is, you use "sighed" because it conveys extra meaning which would otherwise be lost, and which can't be conveyed another way. For example:
"'I hate you,' she crooned."Crooned means something very specific which is very difficult to describe usingshe said with TKTKTK.(Credit Kate Sherwood)
Other answers which will be useful to you:
I'm getting tired of "he said" "she said" in dialogue; how do I get around it?
Dialog, just what's the best way to write it?
0 comment threads
0 comment threads