Posts by Ken Mohnkern
@MarkBaker is absolutely correct. I'll add that metaphors occur in more than just sentence structure. Even when you write in a way that doesn't include sentence-level metaphors and similes, your r...
Some of us create a character and place him or her in a situation and just write. Introduce another character and put the two of them in conversation. See what appears on the page. Write ten more p...
Redundancy is neither good nor bad. It either works for you or doesn't. In your brief lines, you have a lot of redundancy that, not knowing the context, can probably be removed without sacrificing ...
For me, it all has to do with rhythm. Read the conversation aloud. You'll hear where dialog tags feel like they should and shouldn't be. This is one of the ways that reading a lot educates writers...
It looks like you're looking for readers of your works in progress. My instinct with that was never to use the shotgun method. I've always just sent my drafts to one or two trusted readers. That mi...
I've never done character charts. When I want to get to know a character better I put them in a bunch of scenes. They're in a conversation with their boss while they have a stone in their shoe. The...
I read submissions to a literary journal. I never look at the cover letters. They probably matter to the editors if the piece gets accepted, but not to us, the initial readers. Keep them brief. Men...
I see this a lot in unpublished writing (including my own early drafts): "I entered the room and saw a red couch and a bookcase. I thought it was a particularly nice red. I heard the clock ticking....
To learn punctuation and capitalization, get your hands on a style guide appropriate for your language (or region or company). I have the Chicago Manual of Style and the AP Manual. Also, read a lot...
Read non-comedy books. Learn from other authors how to handle those things. (This is how writers learn how to write.) Also, remember that you don't need to describe how your characters look unless...
You have tons of options, depending on the context and the purpose of that sentence: If we already know the scene is at a football field, then "Aiden watched Number Ten running on the field." ("F...
Lots of opinions here, but let's look to a higher authority. According to the Chicago Manual of Style, the word after a colon is lowercase, even if it starts a complete sentence, unless it's a prop...
A writing instructor once told me that first person should only be used if one of the following cases is true: The narrator is not the main character. So we witness the main character's story thr...
You should have someone with proofing and editing skills proof and edit your work. If you have one of those people in your family, then go ahead. A professional editor should be able to put aside ...
I thought the obvious answer was this: Have someone else proof your work. No matter how many times I go over my story, a reader will still find stuff I've missed. They'll also find sentences that ...
Read a lot. Pay attention to how your favorite authors present dialog. You might find that written dialog doesn't include everything everyone says from when they meet to when they part. It starts...
It's a complex sentence, with a complex structure and many adjectives. I, for one, love a well-constructed long sentence, so I won't suggest breaking it up. Try doing what the midwife does: recons...
You can provide a signal at the start of each point. For example, the first paragraph can begin, "First, I want to say blah blah blah..." and the second paragraph can continue your point. The thi...
Look in the collections of stories you have on your shelves. Usually in the back of the book is a list of places where the stories have been previously published. If you're reading the kinds of sto...
Writers read. We read lots of things in order to learn from our betters how they do what they do. Read the instructional blogs and books, but being a reader who picks apart stories and sentences to...
A lot of literary journals manage submissions via Submittable. I've never used it as an admin, but I know you can assign stories to particular readers and it keeps track of correspondence between y...
Forget about promotion. Just write your stories. Submit them for publication in journals and magazines. (I much prefer getting my stories into print rather than getting them online.) If you get to ...
What I do as I'm discovering my characters is to just write them into scene after scene. Don't worry about whether the scene has anything to do with your story. Put him in an argument with his wife...
I once heard from a trusted teacher that first person should only be used when either (a) the main character is someone other than the narrator or (b) the narrator has a unique voice. An example o...
Often, sentences that use "thought" verbs tend to provide distance between the reader and the action. This might be intentional or not. Consider your example, rewritten without the "I thought about...