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Q&A Please evaluate the effectiveness of both voices, which better brings the character to life?

I much preferred reading the first-person excerpt, but that doesn't mean much when taken out of context like this. There's no simple answer here. First person has certain advantages, third person h...

posted 10y ago by Neil‭  ·  last activity 5y ago by System‭

Answer
#3: Attribution notice added by user avatar System‭ · 2019-12-08T03:30:17Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/10868
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision by (deleted user) · 2019-12-08T03:30:17Z (almost 5 years ago)
I much preferred reading the first-person excerpt, but that doesn't mean much when taken out of context like this. There's no simple answer here. First person has certain advantages, third person has other ones. Which you use depends on the story. Can you tell us more about the larger work? Is it a personal story, or is it a grand, uber-epic tale? Are there other characters you're following?

Without a doubt, the text in first person gives us a much better idea of the character. It gives us an intimate moment, lets us get a sense of the character's inner thoughts.

However, the story is better moved forward by the third person paragraph. It moves the story forward and there's more action. This may be because the two paragraphs really aren't the same action.

What you need to do is look at your story as a whole, and decide if you need to give us a better sense of story or character. In which aspect is your tale lacking? That should give you your answer.

#1: Imported from external source by user avatar System‭ · 2014-05-01T22:02:16Z (over 10 years ago)
Original score: 3