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Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/q/11111
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

I'm not sure where I picked up this habit. Here are two examples:

> I pictured An-Mei’s slim fingers running across their smooth surface, her hand, and then the body connected to it. But try as I might, I couldn’t recall her face. All I saw were scattered facial features that, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t put together; they were like jigsaw pieces that slipped from my hands the moment I grabbed them. Was time capable of erasing such memories?
> 
> The trail turned into a sharp curve, a mountain of fens blocking what lay ahead. I circled around it.
> 
> * * *
> 
> She was short and relatively thin. Her hair was cut at the forehead with two long strands hanging limply above her shoulders. She was wearing a red knit cap, a white cotton sweater, and a plaid skirt that reached just below her knees. On top of all that, she had a thick leather jacket. Comfortable clothes. Not the kind you’d bring to a hiking trip, though. What was she doing standing there?
> 
> Following her line of vision, I realized she was staring at a huge ancient tree.

I guess my intention was to use the question to connect the paragraph to the next one (or to give the paragraph a summary/ending). Does this feel amateurish? If so, what should I be doing instead?

Original score: 4