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Q&A Does the following opening grip you?

Of all the people who wanted to join the trip, Paola was the the last I expected would come. It surprised me. We barely knew each other at school, and I was pretty sure she wasn't interested in ...

1 answer  ·  posted 10y ago by Alexandro Chen‭  ·  last activity 5y ago by System‭

#3: Attribution notice added by user avatar System‭ · 2019-12-08T03:41:02Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/q/12599
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision by user avatar Alexandro Chen‭ · 2019-12-08T03:41:02Z (almost 5 years ago)
> Of all the people who wanted to join the trip, Paola was the the last I expected would come. It surprised me. We barely knew each other at school, and I was pretty sure she wasn't interested in me. I didn't pride myself on being a ladies' man. But if all my rejections had taught me anything, it was this: if a girl never looks at you, it probably means "not a chance."
> 
> I turned to check on her. She was ambling among the rocks, her back to me, almost a dot in the distance. Despite that, I could still make out her figure: her sharp shoulder blades, her bony arms, her childlike yet feminine hips. Frail but charming features. What I liked the most, though, was her long blonde hair. It contrasted beautifully with her bronze skin. Like Spring and Fall, fire and wood. Light and darkness.
> 
> With a sigh, I resumed my way down the beach...

Another concern I have is that it takes a while after the setting is explicitly stated (the beach). Maybe _trip_ and _rocks_ are enough for the meanwhile?

#1: Imported from external source by user avatar System‭ · 2014-08-12T08:43:18Z (over 10 years ago)
Original score: 0