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1) Lengthen it. You're not going to have rat-a-tat-tat patter graveside. 2) Take each phrase you feel is clichéd, determine the meaning, and rewrite it in different words. "All we want is for our ...
Answer
#4: Attribution notice removed
by
System
·
2019-12-13T12:00:24Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/12781 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#3: Attribution notice added
by
System
·
2019-12-08T03:43:51Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/12781 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision
1) Lengthen it. You're not going to have rat-a-tat-tat patter graveside. 2) Take each phrase you feel is clichéd, determine the meaning, and rewrite it in different words. "All we want is for our children to grow healthy and happy" becomes "That's my biggest responsibility and my biggest hope — that my children are healthy and happy, and we didn't break them too much on the way to adulthood." 3) Try the exercise I recommended in my answer to [this question,](https://writers.stackexchange.com/questions/3938/dialogue-writing-practices) where you and a friend ad-lib the scene and record it. Play it back and see how real, unscripted dialogue sounds.
#1: Imported from external source
by
System
·
2014-09-05T10:05:38Z (about 10 years ago)
Original score: 5