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The second option is OK, if you can smooth out the phrasing. What would be more ideal is if you could rephrase to avoid the problem, to avoid lumping the two items together in the first place - fo...
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#4: Attribution notice removed
by
System
·
2019-12-12T20:06:02Z (about 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/12887 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#3: Attribution notice added
by
System
·
2019-12-08T03:45:41Z (about 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/12887 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision
The second option is OK, if you can smooth out the phrasing. What would be more ideal is if you could rephrase to avoid the problem, to avoid lumping the two items together in the first place - for example: > She had green eyes, and curly hair that looked like a cluster of ferns in a mountain forest. Another option is completing the list, and then finding some way to go back and focus on one individual item. _You should be able to find some justification for this,_ because you've already found some reason that the one item deserves extra attention. For example: > She had green eyes and curly hair. Oh, such extraordinarily curly hair! -- it looked like a cluster of ferns in a mountain forest.
#1: Imported from external source
by
System
·
2014-09-14T18:10:05Z (over 10 years ago)
Original score: 4