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Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/14446
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

If it's important enough to mention the hour then it's important enough to be clear which one you mean, _but_ using "AM" and "PM" in fiction may not be the best way. If the scene already makes it clear which one is being talked about -- on the beach you talk about the sunlight dancing off the waves, for instance -- then you don't need to say anything and "PM" might just get in the way. If you find yourself reaching for "AM" or "PM", stop and ask yourself if there is a more-descriptive way to narrate the scene. The person lounging on the beach _probably_ isn't thinking "PM", after all; he's just noticing that it's 5:00.

One exception: if I were writing about a scene where the _characters_ would be thinking about "AM" or "PM", rather than afternoons on the beach or late nights at a bar or the like, then I would consider using these designations. Consider, for example:

> The woman gave one final thrust and the baby flew into Dr. Jacobson's arms. As the child let out its first cry ("good lungs", the midwife thought to herself), Karen reached for a pen and glanced at the clock. 11:58PM -- no, this baby would not be the first baby of 2014. Karen had once again lost the betting pool

Original score: 8