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Q&A Am I correctly punctuating this pause?

Your first comma isn't the problem. It's that you have an interrupter and didn't put the second comma in. Then, when the smoke had cleared, Jane rushed over to her. An interrupter is a few wo...

posted 10y ago by Lauren Ipsum‭  ·  last activity 5y ago by System‭

Answer
#4: Attribution notice removed by user avatar System‭ · 2019-12-13T12:00:27Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/16133
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#3: Attribution notice added by user avatar System‭ · 2019-12-08T04:01:37Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/16133
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision by (deleted user) · 2019-12-08T04:01:37Z (almost 5 years ago)
Your first comma isn't the problem. It's that you have an interrupter and didn't put the _second_ comma in.

> Then, when the smoke had cleared, Jane rushed over to her.

An _interrupter_ is a few words or a whole clause which interrupts the flow of the original framing sentence, and can be safely removed from the original sentence without making it grammatically uncorrect.

An interrupter _must_ have bracketing punctuation. You can use commas, M-dashes, or parentheses, or in rare instances ellipses if you're careful.

If you take out the interrupter clause here, it just reads:

> Then Jane rushed over to her.

Other examples:

> Jane flung open the door, and — once the smoke had cleared and she wasn't in danger of choking — rushed over to her.
> 
> Jane felt (now that it had been a few years) like she could go back to the city.

#1: Imported from external source by user avatar System‭ · 2015-02-05T11:37:11Z (almost 10 years ago)
Original score: 10