Communities

Writing
Writing
Codidact Meta
Codidact Meta
The Great Outdoors
The Great Outdoors
Photography & Video
Photography & Video
Scientific Speculation
Scientific Speculation
Cooking
Cooking
Electrical Engineering
Electrical Engineering
Judaism
Judaism
Languages & Linguistics
Languages & Linguistics
Software Development
Software Development
Mathematics
Mathematics
Christianity
Christianity
Code Golf
Code Golf
Music
Music
Physics
Physics
Linux Systems
Linux Systems
Power Users
Power Users
Tabletop RPGs
Tabletop RPGs
Community Proposals
Community Proposals
tag:snake search within a tag
answers:0 unanswered questions
user:xxxx search by author id
score:0.5 posts with 0.5+ score
"snake oil" exact phrase
votes:4 posts with 4+ votes
created:<1w created < 1 week ago
post_type:xxxx type of post
Search help
Notifications
Mark all as read See all your notifications »
Q&A

Post History

60%
+1 −0
Q&A How do you make a vague metaphor more easy to understand?

Besides my comment above about referencing the wrong item, in a more general sense, you can make a metaphor clearer by working backwards from your end result. If your end is "silence is golden," w...

posted 9y ago by Lauren Ipsum‭  ·  last activity 5y ago by System‭

Answer
#4: Attribution notice removed by user avatar System‭ · 2019-12-13T12:00:28Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/16277
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#3: Attribution notice added by user avatar System‭ · 2019-12-08T04:03:38Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/16277
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision by (deleted user) · 2019-12-08T04:03:37Z (almost 5 years ago)
Besides my comment above about referencing the wrong item, in a more general sense, you can make a metaphor clearer by working backwards from your end result.

If your end is "silence is golden," which is the important idea you want to reference, consider what part of a person makes sound. It's not really the _lips_, but the _mouth_. (I wouldn't use "golden voice" because that already means "having a beautiful voice.") Possibly you could use "tongue," which also means _language._

Pushing it further, why stay with "golden"? Maybe use _gilded_ or _gilt,_, and then you can pun on _guilt_ depending on why the "you" is silent.

So your lyric could be something like (you'll have to work out your own meter):

> a mouth of gilt
> 
> a mouth, gilt
> 
> your gilded mouth
> 
> your mouth full of gold
> 
> your tongue covered in gilt/guilt

#1: Imported from external source by user avatar System‭ · 2015-02-19T22:12:22Z (over 9 years ago)
Original score: 1