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What makes a passage strong is almost always its context. We walk by the wonders of nature unseeing everyday. Only at certain times and in certain moods or circumstances do we pause to notice them ...
Answer
#4: Attribution notice removed
by
System
·
2020-01-03T20:41:49Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/22060 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#3: Attribution notice added
by
System
·
2019-12-08T04:05:55Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/22060 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision
by
System
·
2019-12-08T04:05:55Z (almost 5 years ago)
What makes a passage strong is almost always its context. We walk by the wonders of nature unseeing everyday. Only at certain times and in certain moods or circumstances do we pause to notice them or be moved by them. Squirrels accidentally plant forests by hiding nuts and forgetting where they put them. By itself, that is a mildly interesting fact. In the right context, that mildly interesting fact could illustrate a broader truth about the universe, which is what you are going for here. So far so good, your passage does that well. But for it to have a profound emotional impact on a person (or an audience) we have to be in the right mood and circumstances to receive it. We have to be in a moment in which this truth makes a profound impact in our lives or how we understand them. Your passage states that this happens. But whether the audience will feel this strongly will depend on whether what comes before puts them in a receptive mood. With the right setup, a truth like this can be devastating. With the wrong one it can be as banal as a grade school science fair. It's all in the setup.
#1: Imported from external source
by
System
·
2016-05-19T11:23:22Z (over 8 years ago)
Original score: 1