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"X was most likely to be electrocuted" doesn't have an actor, so that's fine as is. But if you have "many new things were done," tell us by whom, and what they did. While the 15x15 was pregna...
Answer
#4: Attribution notice removed
by
System
·
2019-12-13T12:00:30Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/17875 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#3: Attribution notice added
by
System
·
2019-12-08T04:23:19Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/17875 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision
"X was most likely to be electrocuted" doesn't have an actor, so that's fine as is. But if you have "many new things were done," tell us by whom, and what they did. > While the 15x15 was pregnant, the three-bys were busy building houses, the 9x9s dug latrines, and the lone [Whip-It](http://www.twistypuzzles.com/cgi-bin/puzzle.cgi?pkey=807) sat in the makeshift cage, wondering when his sentence would be carried out. I'd say make the effort to remove passive voice whenever you can, and add detail, action, and movement in those spots.
#1: Imported from external source
by
System
·
2015-06-24T21:02:42Z (over 9 years ago)
Original score: 3