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Q&A What to do with cliched metaphors?

Example from my own writing: "Please take care of yourself," she replied. "Health is the most important thing in life, remember that." "I know, Mom." I had already lost count of the numb...

5 answers  ·  posted 8y ago by Alexandro Chen‭  ·  last activity 4y ago by Mark Baker‭

#3: Attribution notice added by user avatar System‭ · 2019-12-08T04:25:51Z (over 4 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/q/18082
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision by user avatar Alexandro Chen‭ · 2019-12-08T04:25:51Z (over 4 years ago)
Example from my own writing:

> "Please take care of yourself," she replied. "Health is the most important thing in life, remember that."
> 
> "I know, Mom." I had already lost count of the number of times she had repeated that. "But I don't know, let's say you do your best to stay healthy: jog every day, eat veggies, drink lots of water, avoid cigarettes and alcohol. Then one day you die in a car accident. Wouldn't it be a big waste? Like building a sand castle just to watch the waves come along and wash it away?"
> 
> "What's your point?"
> 
> "That maybe there's something more to life than health. Something that has nothing to do with the body."
> 
> She said, "Darling, you sure you're all right?"
> 
> Talking to my mom suddenly made me sad. She had good intentions, I knew that. However, sometimes **it felt as if we spoke different languages.**

So, that's a cliched metaphor. And here's the problem: it's the perfect one for the passage. Still, it bother's me that I'm using a cliche. So I tried the following:

1) Using a synonym:

> However, sometimes it felt as if we spoke different dialects.

2) Using another metaphor:

> However, sometimes it felt as if we were standing in opposite shores, shouting to each other.

But I don't know. I'm not sure if I'm doing the right thing.

What should I do with cliched metaphors? Maybe just remove them?

#1: Imported from external source by user avatar System‭ · 2015-07-08T15:53:33Z (over 8 years ago)
Original score: 5