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Q&A

How can I surprise my readers with a surprise betrayal?

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In my action/adventure story, the two main protagonists are rescuing the injured victim and escaping the dungeon. (Or jail cell. Or whatever.) Once the protagonists have rescued the victim, I want to surprise the readers with a betrayal--the victim was working for the bad guys all along, and leaves the protagonists trapped. (Think Elsa Schneider betraying Indy in The Last Crusade.)

The only problem is I'm pretty sure readers would see it coming from a mile away. How can I set it up so that the readers are surprised, and only in retrospect does it look obvious? Do I have to distract the readers? Can I make them come to the conclusion that the character is a good guy?

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This post was sourced from https://writers.stackexchange.com/q/18928. It is licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0.

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Give the victim a reason to betray the good guys.

Make the victim a rounded character. Give him or her motivation, backstory, and personality. The reader may not see all the backstory you've created, but you as the author should know what it is, and write the person accordingly.

Maybe the victim is being blackmailed by the bad guy and is genuinely sorry to trap the good guys. Maybe the victim is the bad guy's secret sibling/spouse/servant/child. Maybe the victim owes the bad guy something, and trapping the good guys is just business, nothing personal — it's a favor to the bad guy.

Whatever the victim's reason, remember: Each of us is the hero of our own story. Consider from the victim's perspective why s/he would do such a thing, and why s/he would want to hide his/her motivations from the good guys. That's how you can set up the surprise.

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