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Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/19641
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/19641
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

I think I see what your problem is. According to my handy grammar handbook:

> The exact words of a speaker should be _set off_ from the rest of the sentence by using a comma, a question mark, or an exclamation point.
> 
> **Note:** If the quotation is a grammatical part of the writer's sentence, the quotation should not be set off by commas, nor should it begin with a capital letter.
> 
> ~Abeka God's Gift of Language B

So what does this mean? If your quotation is actually the character speaking, it is a direct quotation. You use commas to separate it, and it starts with a capital letter (do note that if the quotation is _interrupted_ and then continued, the continuation does **not** start with a capital letter).

However, if your quotation is is not a direct quotation - that is, you are describing what was said rather than the character actually saying it - then you do **not** use commas.

Below I'll correct your examples and explain each one.

> I cover the receiver and whisper, “Sorry,” to my friend.

This is a direct quotation, because someone is saying it. Therefore, you use a comma, and it starts with a capital letter. There should also be a comma at the end of the quotation.

> He leans forward and whispers, “I’m ready, baby,” into my ear.

This is correct. It is what he is saying, making it a direct quotation. However, you should have a comma **after** baby, as I added. Because it is the _beginning_ of a direct quotation, it would also begin with a capital (which it does anyway because it starts with 'I')

> I resist the urge to shout "screw you, asshole" right to his face.

The quotation is not actually said, meaning it is not a direct quotation. Therefore, commas are not used, and your example is correct. A comma is not needed after the quotation either, because it is not direct.

> I turn to him and mouth "bye."

This is a tricky one. I am actually not 100% sure on this, but I believe because nothing was actually _said_, it is not a direct quotation, and therefore would be correct the way you have it. Do note that all punctuation goes _inside_ the quotation marks, even if it isn't part of the quotation. Observe the period I've added above.

> I try to shout "stop" again but the words won't come out.
> 
> I feel extremely tempted to say “just drive” and hope for the best.

Once again, nothing was actually said, meaning that both of these sentences are perfectly correct. Note that I made 'just' with a lowercase 'J,' because it is not the beginning of a direct quotation.

So a good rule of thumb to follow would be to determine if something is a direct quotation or not. If the quotation is what someone actually said, then it is, and you use commas and a capital. If it is what someone wanted to say, but didn't, or anything similar, it is not a direct quotation, and quotation marks alone will suffice.

Original score: 2