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Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/q/20184
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

I've written several chapters of a (fiction) story. I wasn't happy so I spent some time reading about fiction, and trying to figure out what was wrong with it. I came to the conclusion that, while the main character is in danger, I have not done enough to build up: want, obstacle, and struggle.

First, I need to build up the character's 'want'. In my story there is a small isolated town, and someone has been killed in it. The main character is scared, and "wants" to survive, though there is no demonstrated threat to him, yet. It does not seem like this vague, "he's scared and wants to get out of there but can't" is good enough want, as the story still seems lifeless.

What can I do to build up "want" for the character, given this scenario? Someone elsewhere writes that a character's desire for survival may not be enough, that one may need to increase the reader's empathy with the character (his example was to give the character a wife or daughter.)

The story is now roughly: guy goes to a very small town, guy gets stuck in the town, someone gets killed. Guy is interested in leaving. The fact is, the killer is after the guy, but the guy doesn't know it yet, and won't know it for awhile.

If I can supply any more details, please let me know.

Edit:

The reader doesn't know the killer is directly after him, yet. The events are: 1) protagonist gets to an isolated, small town. 2) the killer has a reason for not wanting him there. 3) kills someone as part of the process of getting the protagonist himself killed (it's complicated...), 4) the killer finds out that his plan didn't work, so will go after the protagonist in another way. Right after step 3 is where things get boring, and where I decided to stop and figure out how to make things sound better.

Original score: 2