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Q&A How to give written advice in a way that is encouraging, not overbearing

"which corrects the mistakes they've made until now" There's your problem. You're viewing this person as a fix-it project, as a series of mistakes to be corrected. You might want to think abo...

posted 9y ago by Lauren Ipsum‭  ·  last activity 5y ago by System‭

Answer
#4: Attribution notice removed by user avatar System‭ · 2019-12-13T12:00:33Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/20323
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#3: Attribution notice added by user avatar System‭ · 2019-12-08T04:54:49Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/20323
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision by (deleted user) · 2019-12-08T04:54:49Z (almost 5 years ago)
> "which corrects the mistakes they've made until now"

There's your problem. You're viewing this person as a fix-it project, as a series of mistakes to be corrected. You might want to think about this person as _making a series of choices based on priorities._

If you want this person to change his or her actions, find out about his or her priorities. What does s/he value? What does s/he want to accomplish? How is s/he going about those goals? Then you talk about what the goals are and how they can be accomplished, and what might be standing in the way of those goals.

If the person's goal is "be a better writer," talk about how "better writers" have a large vocabulary and use the standard version of the language rather than textspeak. Don't say "you have to _stop using_ textspeak," but rather that the person must _also_ learn how to write correctly so that s/he can choose when to use textspeak and when not to. Talk about how employers and teachers might view textspeak, and what impression s/he wants to give those future employers and teachers.

You aren't being inspiring because you aren't providing anything positive.

#1: Imported from external source by user avatar System‭ · 2016-01-05T15:59:37Z (almost 9 years ago)
Original score: 3