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Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/20697
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/20697
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

 **Grammar Side-Rant** (Ignore at will)

First off, none of the words you have in bold are gerunds. A gerund is a verb form used as a noun. Examples would be:

> Hunting is a sport.
> 
> We love sailing.

**Answer:**

As far as overdoing it goes, your paragraph sounds fine to me. However, looking at one paragraph is not the same as looking at the whole page. You might be using the phrases too much if you use them _everywhere_.

If you're having trouble with dialogue tags, include actions with the tags, like you have; but also be sure to include some simple tags without additional phrases. You don't want to just repeat the same thing over and over, so keep the tags changing. If you still feel like your tags are lacking something, try taking out the dialogue altogether and replacing it with looks, postures, or other wordless sounds (sighs, noncommittal grunts, etc.). Something else you can do is split the dialogue up and put the tag in the middle (you should probably only do this if you want the dialogue to seem split to the reader). For example:

> "I know what you're doing," she said.
> 
> "They're after us," they cried as they ran away.
> 
> "Are you sure you want to do this?" he asked, twirling the dagger.
> 
> Her look was enough to tell him what he needed to know.
> 
> A sigh and a shake of the head was his only reply.
> 
> "I..." he paused, gasping for breath, "...made it."

Original score: 3