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It's usually better to plant yourself and describe the character through the eyes of the viewpoint character. It doesn't usually require too much of a change. Carla looked at John's gaunt face...
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#3: Attribution notice added
by
System
·
2019-12-08T05:02:56Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/20971 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision
by
Duncan McKenzie
·
2019-12-08T05:02:56Z (almost 5 years ago)
It's usually better to plant yourself and describe the character through the eyes of the viewpoint character. It doesn't usually require too much of a change. > Carla looked at John's gaunt face, his haunted eyes. This was what imprisonment did to a man. It was a face that had felt agony and seen its effects on others. Prison had changed John. He was no longer the bright young lad his father had once admired; the favored son who would conquer the world. Now the world had conquered him. I assume that the viewpoint character knows all this. If not, comment on what is visible, and reveal the rest later, in dialogue maybe.
#1: Imported from external source
by
System
·
2016-02-17T17:34:08Z (almost 9 years ago)
Original score: 2