Post History
I prefer the first example. Example 2 sounds a bit wordy and the breaks in the writing (the parenthesis) make it sound choppier. I don't think you need the parenthesis around Chuck's name. Just ...
Answer
#3: Attribution notice added
by
System
·
2019-12-08T05:04:44Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/21078 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision
by
Abs
·
2019-12-08T05:04:44Z (almost 5 years ago)
I prefer the first example. Example 2 sounds a bit wordy and the breaks in the writing (the parenthesis) make it sound choppier. I don't think you need the parenthesis around Chuck's name. Just say "My friend Chuck". Alternate ways you could phrase it: - My friend Chuck who worked for vendor ThisCo decided he'd had enough. - My friend Chuck worked for vendor ThisCo and decided he'd had enough. - My friend Chuck who worked for ThisCo, a vendor, decided he'd had enough. It all depends on what you are going for. Your second example could be used if that sentence flows well with your writing style and the way your narrator talks.
#1: Imported from external source
by
System
·
2016-02-23T17:25:02Z (over 8 years ago)
Original score: 0