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Q&A How to clarify the objects of a sentence's two pronouns?

Hi hebbo and welcome to Writers SE! Generally asking what to write is off topic, but I think this is an exception, because it is actually a common problem in writing (at least for me). It's not a n...

posted 8y ago by Thomas Myron‭  ·  last activity 5y ago by System‭

Answer
#4: Attribution notice removed by user avatar System‭ · 2019-12-12T17:49:00Z (about 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/23723
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#3: Attribution notice added by user avatar System‭ · 2019-12-08T05:24:15Z (about 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/23723
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision by (deleted user) · 2019-12-08T05:24:15Z (about 5 years ago)
Hi hebbo and welcome to Writers SE! Generally asking what to write is off topic, but I think this is an exception, because it is actually a common problem in writing (at least for me). It's not a naive question by a long shot; every now and then I have this same problem myself.

The answer is usually to just rewrite the sentence until you get it. Try to determine the root of the problem, as that might help. In this scenario, I can tell that the construction of your sentence may be the issue. It is two independent phrases:

`A fox tries to find a rabbit that is sleeping` and `and when it finds one it eats it.`

In order to fix the sentence, I would try weaving the last phrase in with the first:

> A fox, trying to find a rabbit that is sleeping, will eat it when it finds one.

Still have two `it`'s in there...

> A fox searches, and when it finds a rabbit that is sleeping, will eat it.

So in this case I put in another verb `searches`, which allowed me to put the whole rabbit part in a separate phrase. So for your construction, it would follow something along these lines:

> Player A [verb], and when [pronoun] finds player B, will tag [pronoun].

#1: Imported from external source by user avatar System‭ · 2016-07-07T22:33:38Z (over 8 years ago)
Original score: 7