How do I portray a particular moment as climactic?
It's a first person novel, and the main character has just overcome some emotional and mental barriers in order to unlock his telekinetic potential, under the training of his mentor.
“Do it, Aiyzaya. I believe in you!”
“Let it motivate me.” I whispered, channeling my energy towards everything around me. All this pain, all this suffering, all my stress will be worth greatness. “Come on, Aiyzaya.” I whispered.
"Lift the block, Aiyzaya!”
And suddenly, every block in the chamber rose into the air, hovering high over our heads.
I dunno if it's me looking at things too deeply, but I just don't feel the climax. This is obviously my first time writing a novel. The idea in my head is great.
Prior to this Aiyzaya's come to terms with the huge sacrifices he's had to make, and the dear ones he's lost, and now after having confronted those repressed feelings, he's going to try one last time to lift a human sized, marble block with his telekinetic abilities. This moment is pretty key, and it marks his triumph over his repressed emotions. It just feels really sh*t, though.
P.S I'm aware it's spelled Isaiah lol. Also feel free to correct me on any grammatical/structural errors in terms of this being a novel.
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1 answer
From what you have described, it seems pretty clear why this does not feel like a climax. Prior to this, the hero has come to terms with the sacrifices he as made and the people he has lost. But in story terms, that is the climax. All that is left is a technical accomplishment of floating blocks.
But a technical accomplishment is not a story climax. The climax is the moment of greatest moral danger, from which proceeds either triumph or tragedy. Moral danger is often, though by no means always, created by physical danger. Does Spiderman save Mary Jane or the busload of schoolkids? The heart of that is not the physics problem but the moral dilemma. Why is Superman turning back time to save Lois Lane such an unsatisfactory ending? Because it cheats on the moment of greatest moral danger. Given Sophie's choice, he cheats and saves both kids, rendering his moral choice meaningless.
But at this point in your story, the protagonist is long past his point of greatest moral danger. He has triumphed over his sense of loss. That he now gets the power of levitation is simply a reward for this moral triumph. It is not the climax, but the denouement.
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