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Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/q/24784
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

I feel like I'm using too many commas. I'm a pretty young writer and I didn't exactly pay attention in English class very often (I was too busy reading a shit load of books and passing with C+'s) and well now that I look back on it, I really should have paid attention during the ':;,' proper usage.

Excerpt from story:

> “You need to drink this herbal tea” he said, handing her a stinking mug full of grossness.
> 
> “...Right” she said and drank the glass in one long pull. Then threw the mug at the wall.
> 
> “Don’t blame you. I’ve had that tea before...”
> 
> “What's your name, Magician”
> 
> “Gnarf the Wise”
> 
> “Your name is Gnarf?”
> 
> “Yours is Nu’nah, so you shouldn’t be talking”
> 
> They both broke into laughter. For Gnarf it was pleasant. For Nu’nah it was a pain filled movement that brought her to tears. Maybe he’ll think they’re tears of joy.
> 
> “You okay?” he said
> 
> “Y-yeah” she said, squeezing her eyes shut and willing to pain the recede. “Bucket?”
> 
> “Nah, im good” she said opening her eyes
> 
> Even he could see they were full of pain.
> 
> “You poor girl” he said, his voice full of sorrow
> 
> “Just stop that ‘you poor girl’ thing, i hate it” Nu’nah said angrily “It’s happened, nobody could’ve stopped it, so just keep your pity to yourself”

This is the first piece I've written and I would like to know what I'm doing wrong. Maybe I'm just critical about my work or something.

Original score: 3