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Q&A How can I keep my writing from being perceived as "too complicated"

No, your sentences are not at all confusing and your English teacher is wrong. I could see the vague reflection of a stressed me breaking into a little grin on the damp window pane, as well as...

posted 7y ago by Daniel Cann‭  ·  last activity 4y ago by System‭

Answer
#3: Attribution notice added by user avatar System‭ · 2019-12-08T05:44:36Z (over 4 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/25244
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision by user avatar Daniel Cann‭ · 2019-12-08T05:44:36Z (over 4 years ago)
No, your sentences are not at all confusing and your English teacher is wrong.

> I could see the vague reflection of a stressed me breaking into a little grin on the damp window pane, as well as my surroundings.

I am from England, and people use this sentence structure occasionally, so its totally fine. I loved that sentence by the way, it paints a picture in my head of the character with bags under their eyes, grinning at their reflection in a misted window.

You should always try and vary your sentence lengths/types in writing to achieve different effects. Sometimes, you should use short sentences, sometimes compound ones, and use these to your advantage as a writer. However, avoid falling into _purple prose_. This is where almost every other word in your prose is an adjective/adverb, and this seriously isn't good. It's fine to have great description, but be careful not to fall into that. Sometimes, it's best to try and paint the pictures you're trying to create with less words than more. In fact, using the right words, _less is more._

I'm in no place to critique your writing, as that's off topic on this site, but I'd like to point out that I feel that in some places you are being a bit too descriptive. For example:

> closed glass pane

It feels, a bit, too specific.

> I became lost into admiring the lovely shower for a few moments before reality struck me hard.

In this sentence, as well as a few others, your grammar isn't perfect, but you're a non-native speaker so don't worry. I think you're trying to build up a bit of tension/realisation with _reality struck me hard_. This would be better achieved by making that a simple, short sentence, really juxtaposing the beauteous description before it.

## Conclusion

- Vary sentence structure

- Don't fall into purple prose!

I'd like to finally wish you luck with your writing. For not being a native speaker, you're _really_ good!

Actually, I can sum up this answer in just a few words. _Sometimes, less is more_

#1: Imported from external source by user avatar System‭ · 2016-11-16T17:58:37Z (over 7 years ago)
Original score: 4