How to better imply time and place changes?
For instance we are speaking of one time and then when we finish we speak of a moment that preceded, i.e.Ten hours before that. Or we are speaking about people in a facility and then we change to Later that day in a bar how to correctly imply these changes? How to write them?
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1 answer
One way to convey time is with signposts:
She buried her head in the pillow as she smacked the alarm clock for the third time.
He fumbled with his key in the lock, glowering at the burnt-out porch light. "Gotta remember to fix that before leaving for work tomorrow," he muttered.
Over dinner she shared the news of her promotion.
"Are you coming to bed?" "In a minute -- just want to catch the weather report," he said as he glanced at the TV.
The kids bounded from the school bus and ran for the playground. Homework could wait.
You don't know exactly when she gets up in the morning or school gets out or they have dinner, but you usually don't need an exact time. If you need to be more specific, you can work it in without resorting to outright narration:
The blare of the Rolling Stones jolted her out of her dream. 6:00 already? Not ready to face the day, she reached over and smacked the snooze alarm. Take that, Mick Jagger.
He quickly cleared the lunch dishes. He was cutting it close; the kickoff was at 1:30 and the guys would be here any minute.
The minute hand crawled ever so slowly toward the 12. Two more minutes... one more... at last! 3:00 brought the anticipated bell and the stampede from the classroom. "Don't forget to read chapter 3!" Mr. Davis sighed, knowing his reminder had fallen on deaf ears.
I've been talking about time, but you can handle changes of place in a similar way. You don't need to say "they're at a bar" if you can imply it -- the pitcher of beer, the conversation with the bartender, the noisy crowd watching the game on several TVs while munching pretzels... show, don't tell.
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