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Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/25730
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/25730
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

The sentence that gets away from you is almost always the result of starting in the wrong place. Look at the first clause in your sentence. Everything that follows has to align with that clause, both semantically and syntactically. If it starts off in the wrong place, it is going to require and long and convoluted construction to get to the last clause.

What makes a sentence like this difficult is actually not so much its length, as that none of what it is saying makes sense except in the context of what it says last. So look at the last clause of the sentence. This is where it was trying to get to, when it started from the wrong place.

So what is the right place to start from to get to where the sentence is actually going? In a surprisingly large number of cases, the right place to start is actually with what you have said in the final clause.

Yes, the statement you make in the final clause requires some supporting detail. That's okay. There is nothing that says that the support detail has to come first. In fact, I don't care about the supporting detail until I know what it is supporting. So start with the plain statement of what you want to say as a simple sentence. Then write other sentences that supply the supporting detail.

And this, in fact, is the classic definition of a paragraph. When a sentence gets as long as a paragraph, it is often because it is trying to do the job of a paragraph. So make it a paragraph. Find the central idea and lead with it. Then supply the supporting detail.

Original score: 13