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1) Use the ellispses and emphasis, and tighten up the spaces. This man, this...monster...has done something despicable. There's no typesetting reason to have spaces on both sides of those el...
Answer
#4: Attribution notice removed
by
System
·
2019-12-13T12:00:42Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/26470 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#3: Attribution notice added
by
System
·
2019-12-08T06:02:43Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/26470 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision
**1) Use the ellispses and emphasis, and tighten up the spaces.** > This man, this..._monster_...has done something despicable. There's no typesetting reason to have spaces on both sides of those ellipses, particularly since you _aren't_ removing words. Plus you're writing fiction, and the use of ellipses for removed text is only in non-fiction quotes. **2) Add a little narration. Combine with other punctuation to convey the aural effect you want.** If the speaker is trailing off: > "This man, this..." His face twisted in disgust. "this _monster_ has done something despicable." If the speaker stops sharply: > "This man, this —" He shivered in atavistic fear. " — _monster_ has done something despicable." The few words of narration cause the reader's internal ear to stop playing dialogue and briefly play narration, which causes a break, if that makes sense. Also, the narration places another small action between the halves of the sentence, and that action happens in the pause you're trying to create.
#1: Imported from external source
by
System
·
2017-02-03T10:38:17Z (almost 8 years ago)
Original score: 19