Is it bad to divert from the topic in a paragraph and continue in the next?
Here's an example from my own writing (this is a first draft so there might be errors):
Turn for Kazuo's eyeballs. I take them to the table, but I don't eat them immediately. I look at them looking back at me. Like they always did. When I ate, when I slept, right the second I woke up. A rare sight. Especially between old couples. Most of the time, the two people are squinting at their phones, glancing around the table, like strangers forced to stick together. You'd think rejection can only occur before a relationship. Not necessarily.
So when Kazuo kept looking at me as often after seven years of relationship, I had to ask him why.
As you can see, the bolded section slightly diverts from the first paragraph. (It stops talking about Kazuo and enters to a more general topic.)
Is this a bad idea? Does it make the writing look messy/disorganized?
This post was sourced from https://writers.stackexchange.com/q/26476. It is licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0.
1 answer
I think you're confusing being organized in persuasive or technical writing, where it's important to stick to the topic sentence, with creative writing.
By the way, I wish you had given us a less yucky, less confusing example.
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