How do you write dialog for a character with malapropism without it seeming forced?
I have a character who has a tendency towards malapropism but I find that in every sentence she speaks I am re-reading it and finding words to replace. ie. (actual - translation)
"Inquisition, should we dispute a miko for this? If their mummy can provide a guessing the moral of the heights will be increased." - Inquiry, should we recruit a miko for this? If their kami can provide a blessing the moral of the knights will be increased.
.
"Keep moving to your assigned vocations and repair the final push." - Keep moving to your assigned locations and prepare the final push.
.
"If you persist I'll have the sane as our dandy, with less built." - If you insist I'll have the same as our lady, with less milk.
And when I re-read them I am thinking whether I am forcing it too much rather than making it seem natural for the character.
So how do you write dialog for a character with malapropism without it seeming forced?
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1 answer
Is this a comedic story or a straightforward/dramatic one?
If it's a comedic story, then just run with it, because everything is supposed to be exaggerated. Your characters may not even have to note the malaprops.
If it's a straightforward one, then the other characters should notice the slips. If your character speaks frequently in malaprops, you may be editing them out because you subsconsciously know that it's a weird way to speak, and your other characters are behaving as though it's not happening — which doesn't work for a non-comedic story.
You can get away with more of this in a dramatic story if English (or whatever you're writing in) is not Mr. Malaprop's first language. You might possibly also be able to do it if Mr. Malaprop himself is aware of it because it happens when he's very nervous (or something similar) and can't stop himself. Then it becomes character development: he knows it's happening, he knows how it sounds, but he can't fix it.
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