Where to break paragraphs in dialogue?
I'm going through an editing something I wrote and am stuck on where to break paragraphs containing dialogue. I know I need to break when a new character speaks, but I'm not sure where to start a new paragraph when there is description mixed with dialogue.
For example:
He nodded. "Thank you for returning the bicycle. You see it was my son's and he would love to ride it one more time."1 My heart pained at this, and I looked up at my dad who seemed unmoved.2 I looked back at Mr. Houston.3 "Of course. I apologize I didn't give it back in time. I was scared."
Where is the best place to split this paragraph?
- After the first speaker finishes
- Between the two non-dialogue sentences
- Just before the second speaker begins
- Somewhere else?
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1 answer
You should follow normal paragraph rules, which are, essentially, that a paragraph contains a complete thought. Of course, this is a fuzzy definition. What makes a thought complete? A sentence, a chapter, or an entire book are all in different senses the expressions of a complete thought. Paragraph is a somewhat fuzzy intermediate division between sentence and chapter, and the trend over the last century has been towards much shorter paragraphs. In short, you have a fair amount of leeway in deciding what constitutes a complete thought and therefore a paragraph.
A complete thought, in fiction, can easily include the speech of more than one character.
Dan wanted to go to the ice cream parlour but Mary said, "I'm too busy," and Tom said "I just ate," and Jenny said, "I feel sick," so we went to the burger joint instead.
The speech and action of one character can together form a complete thought:
Mandrake reached into his hat, cried "Alaczam!" in a loud voice, and pulled out a large white rhinoceros.
Alternately, the speech and action of a single character can form two different complete thoughts.
Sir Roland came up to the castle gate, dismounted, and walked across the drawbridge.
"Where is my daughter," he demanded.
In short, the existence of dialogue is orthogonal to the question of where to break paragraphs. Simply follow normal paragraphing practice and break on a complete thought.
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