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It depends on what you want to accomplish with the scene, and the character. Neither one is better writing per se. They do have slightly different tones, and slightly different meanings. "When y...
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#4: Attribution notice removed
by
System
·
2019-12-13T12:00:44Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/27421 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#3: Attribution notice added
by
System
·
2019-12-08T06:18:20Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/27421 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision
It depends on what you want to accomplish with the scene, and the character. Neither one is better writing per se. They do have slightly different tones, and slightly different meanings. "When you love someone" is your first-person narrator speaking in second person to make his/her sentiment universal. S/he is saying "when _any_ person loves someone, nothing the beloved person does is boring to the lover." It's casual and doesn't portend anything — it's descriptive. It's also in the present tense, so the implication is that the description applies right now, at the moment the story is taking place. "Because I loved him" is your first-person narrator talking very specifically about his/her emotions towards his/her husband. While I realize we're seeing this snippet out of context, the past tense makes me wonder if the husband is dead or if the couple is separated/divorced. I _loved_ him, not I _love_ him. There's a wee bit of negative foreshadowing here, which intrigues me. If you want to "touch" your reader, again, it depends on what you want the reader to feel. If the narrator still loves his/her husband, and this is part of showing that sentiment, I'd go with the universal wording. If they are not together for whatever reason, then you'd need the specific phrasing, because the experience of love not being boring is in the past for these two.
#1: Imported from external source
by
System
·
2017-04-01T15:15:49Z (over 7 years ago)
Original score: 6