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Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/q/27533
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

I'm writing a sci-fi novel with more than one main character. Since I'm not an experienced writer, I still struggle with some basic "rules" within writing that may or may not exist.

This issue is regarding **the way I describe the people around the main characters**. The two main characters could be described as follows:

**"David", Young Man - approximately 22 years old.  
"Carly", Young Girl - approximately 8 years old.**

Obviously, the dialogue plays a huge role in depicting an authentic person af a certain age and personalty, but I want the POV to influence the descriptions and so on, if that is "allowed".

**I think what I want is a simplified descriptive language, to simulate the way a child sees the world.**

**Examples**

These are examples to give an idea of one of the ways I wish to show the age (and world perception) differences between the two characters. The focus here is on the way I refer to the parents. If done successfully, the young POV will show **"the feeling of there only being one Mom and one Dad"** - that I believe almost all children feel up until a certain age.

**David**

> "Thanks" said David and hugged **his mom**"I've missed this". As he walked down the hallway, he could hear **his father** singing to himself, the way he always did when he thought no-one was listening. **His father** had always been told he was a great singer, but had never truly believed it himself.

**Carly**

> Carly laid in her bed wondering if the cat would be in the backyard again today. "Honey, is the magic ready yet?" **mom** said in the hallway. Carly knew that **mom** was talking about the morning coffee, and expected the usual "The wizard's a brewin'!" from **dad**. It took longer than usual for **dad** to answer.

So, the actual question could be phrased as followed:

**Am I free to change my descriptive language when changing POVs?**

In this case I fear that I'm letting my younger character's POW influence the descriptions in a way that is not allowed or frowned upon. I of course want to give my readers a fluent and immersive experience, and if this method makes them see the things and people around the characters the way the characters would, then perfect. If it breaks the immersion or in any other way makes the reader go "what?", I'd like to know that as soon as possible...

Thanks!

Original score: 0