How can I describe nervousness?
Becoming nervous in the heat of a situation. Perhaps you witnessed something not for the faint of heart. Like, how would I describe shaky legs without being so boring about it.
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Talk to people about what happens when they get nervous so you have a strong database of ideas. And give every character a different set of reactions. The main character in the novel I'm working on likes to take leaves or flowers and slowly shred them with her fingers. Another character reacts physically sometimes to the point of violence. Others look away from the person they're talking to.
There are many ways to show nervousness and also many degrees of it. Being scared can overlap but it's different. Some people are energized by nervousness (I am...it's part of why I love to perform on stage). Others lose the ability to speak or to function or to think clearly. Some will stammer or make mistakes. Still others will behave perfectly normally except for that telltale sign only people who know them will notice.
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Spend less time describing the nervousness, and more time describing what is making your characters nervous.
Neither of them moved a muscle. Elias could hear his own heartbeat; he could even hear Jamie's nervous breaths. Two sets of footsteps were coming toward them. One was heavy and slow, like an adult's; the other seemed quicker and lighter.
(from something I'm writing)
In this short paragraph, only one sentence is devoted to actually describing nervousness: hearing one's own heartbeat and someone else's breath. Readers know from that sentence that Jamie and Elias are nervous; there is no need to tell them again.
Instead, the rest of the paragraph is about their situation. Why are they nervous? They need to avoid detection, and two mysterious figures are moving toward them. This heightens the tension in the scene and gives Elias and Jamie a reason to be nervous, which is much more effective than continuing to describe nervousness itself.
This post was sourced from https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/27574. It is licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0.
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