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Q&A How to write hidden details

I disagree with the first answer. The core of the problem is the writer's individual style. Essentially, we're discussing the well-worn subject of 'show don't tell'. Showing leads the reader to de...

posted 7y ago by Surtsey‭  ·  last activity 5y ago by System‭

Answer
#3: Attribution notice added by user avatar System‭ · 2019-12-08T06:26:06Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/28027
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision by user avatar Surtsey‭ · 2019-12-08T06:26:06Z (almost 5 years ago)
I disagree with the first answer. The core of the problem is the writer's individual style. Essentially, we're discussing the well-worn subject of 'show don't tell'.

Showing leads the reader to derive or conclude based on the presented information.

"Can you get the Wok from the top cupboard, please?" said Mrs Smith. "You know I can't reach." "Stir fry, again?" said Mr Smith. "Why can't we have some good old American food?"

- From this brief exchange the reader will make assumptions that are not stated facts. e.g. The characters are married. Mr Smith is taller than Mrs Smith.

Let's examine this on a more complicated level . . .

We have a mixed race female character "Charlie". Throughout school she identified with the blacks and Hispanics. Charlie's world is music, from a very young age she could rarely be found without earbuds blasting Hip-hop into her ears.

In random scene, earbuds in, Charlie's doing her homework in her room. Her stepmom shocks her by taking her by the shoulders and turning her around to tell her that her dinner is ready.

You've been shown (but are unaware of the fact) Charlie has two superpowers.

We come to a critical scene: Charlie's in a nightclub, dancing. Music is pounding. A huge narcotics deal is about to go down. But the Colombian drug-dealers are plotting to kill the undercover cops and steal the cash. How do we know this?

You were told . . . On the balance of probability Charlie can speak Spanish, and based on all the previous conversations that had taken place with her earphones in - Charlie's pretty adept at lip-reading.

With your character, perhaps put them in a situation where the absence of the necklace exposed by its omission whilst you through in a red-herring to further distract the reader. e.g the character has a brief meeting or is required to deliver something to a person in a courthouse or, at an airport, or inside an embassy. She's required to pass through a metal detector so hands her phone and watch to the security staff. She returns five minutes later and curses. "WTF? Five missed calls!"

#1: Imported from external source by user avatar System‭ · 2017-05-12T10:32:49Z (over 7 years ago)
Original score: 0