Dialog, just what's the best way to write it?
I've come across the following conventions:
"What’s this for?" asked Jake.
Sue replied, "None of your business."
He shrugged his shoulders. "Well, it looks darned funny sitting here."
"It’s still none of your business," she asserted. "It’s female stuff, so don’t you mind."
"Oh!" Jake dropped it and backed away.
And
Jake "What’s this for?"
Sue "None of your business."
He shrugged his shoulders.
Jake "Well, it looks darned funny sitting here."
Sue "It’s still none of your business," she asserted. "It’s female stuff, so don’t you mind."
Jake "Oh!"
Jake dropped it and backed away.
There's also the style of placing the speaker above and centered (screenplay?).
First seems to be the canon version of writing dialog. The second might appear in a screenplay (but we'll ignore those) although more predominantly in games, where the speaker almost always gets the label (usually accompanied by a semicolon).
I'm writing something and have very dialog driven plot (in certain chapters) and the usual advice for dealing with situations like this isn't very pleasing to hear. Typically, I find the recommendation is to use speech tags (ie. "said Sue") every 4 or so dialog lines; and if only two characters to avoid them altogether. Ironically, the recommendation also usually say you should avoid paragraphs in dialog, and instead split it on multiple lines.
Let's say, for simplicity sake, I'm writing a detective story. And, there is just one main character and (in accordance with the guidline of "show, don't tell") most of the plot is him conversing with other characters rather then narration. Isn't that going to lead to just a intelligible blob of text?
My question: Is it just better to go with the version that's documented in most manuals of style? (ie. example 1) Or is there a alternative, 3rd solution?
Credits to Victory Crayne for the (initial) dialogue snippets.
This post was sourced from https://writers.stackexchange.com/q/1861. It is licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0.
2 answers
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The other answers are absolutely correct about the use of action tags, but I think there's a larger issue here.
You don't really want to write "just" dialogue. That would be a screenplay. Action tags certainly help, but if the remain at the level of "the character's physical expression or action as s/he talks," then you really haven't added anything beyond stage directions.
If you write like a screenplay, it'll read like a screenplay. So, you ask, what's the difference between a screenplay and a dialogue-centered novel? Well, it's pretty much the same as the difference between reading a screenplay and watching the movie. Straight dialogue is a bunch of talking heads; it's difficult to be exciting or engaging in the format. Plot, setting, and emotion are your friends - even when the dialogue is in the center.
Jim Van Pelt just wrote an excellent blog post on precisely this subject. He demonstrates the wildly different directions the same raw dialogue can be taken - and how bland "simple" action tags can be, compared to a rounder, more fleshed-out scene.
So what do you need to add to the dialogue to round out a transcript into a fullblown scene? Here's a couple of thoughts:
- The viewpoint character likely has a lot of thoughts and reactions to the conversation around him. Share them with us - they act as a counterpoint to the raw dialogue, and keep us immersed in the character and his personality. That also lets you get across powerful motives and desires that motivate his side of the dialogue, that he'd never allow to slip barefaced into the conversation itself. That's what Van Pelt's second example does - he goes beyond describing what happens cinematically, into explaining why this dialogue is taking place, and immersing us into the viewpoint character's world and hopes.
- Consider where the dialogue is taking place. It could be two characters taking in their living room, or in a coffee-shop. But the scene would be a lot more colorful and active - less "talking-heads" - if they talked while doing something. If two characters were talking during a game of bowling, that would be an entirely different scene than one where they were talking because they were the only two students in detention, or if they were talking five minutes before they were each auditioning for the same part in a musical. Each of these would give the scene a vastly different tone - and provide all kinds of events, reactions, distractions, and interruptions throughout the scene.
Some additions will be extremely brief, and interspersed with the dialogue - like the action tags. Others can take a paragraph or two - the sudden musings of the viewpoint character, something interesting going on in the area, a short flashback, etc. Of course, you shouldn't be adding in content as simple padding - these are ways to add more substance to your writing, coloring your "raw" dialogue with all the personality, flavor, and action of the entire piece.
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I like a mix of dialog tags and action tags. You should definitely break up paragraphs of speech with stage business and action tags.
Dean Wesley Smith had an advice piece for writers which I ran across for Star Trek: Strange New Worlds, and I don't have it to hand, but the one bit which stuck with me is "The word 'said' is invisible. Use it." He thought that one should never use bookisms like asserted, insisted, sighed, etc. but I like those used judiciously. And reading back over my own work in chunks, he's right: said is really invisible. It just doesn't register, any more than the word "the" does.
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