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Q&A Is it better to leave out the "filters/filler" in situations like this one?

This is all about where you want to direct the reader's attention. As a writer, you have almost total control over where the reader's attention is focused in a scene. If you write: A rabbit s...

posted 7y ago by Mark Baker‭  ·  last activity 5y ago by System‭

Answer
#4: Attribution notice removed by user avatar System‭ · 2020-01-03T20:41:54Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/29023
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#3: Attribution notice added by user avatar System‭ · 2019-12-08T06:42:40Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/29023
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision by user avatar System‭ · 2019-12-08T06:42:40Z (almost 5 years ago)
This is all about where you want to direct the reader's attention. As a writer, you have almost total control over where the reader's attention is focused in a scene.

If you write:

> A rabbit sticker sealed the manila envelope. Graceful handwritten words read: To Kiyoshi.

Then the reader's attention is directed straight to the envelope.

If you write:

> I looked at it. A rabbit sticker sealed the manila envelope. Graceful handwritten words read: To Kiyoshi.

Then the reader's attention is directed to the narrating character, the reader sees the character looking at the envelope rather than looking directly at the envelope itself.

Which of these you want depends entirely on what you are trying to achieve in the scene. One is not inherently better than the other; they simply achieve different effects.

#1: Imported from external source by user avatar System‭ · 2017-06-30T15:19:16Z (over 7 years ago)
Original score: 18