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I'm trying to describe an action (a gust of wind blows) and its result (the flame is doused) and its subsequent effect (the room is plunged into darkness). However, I'm facing some issues with how ...
#3: Attribution notice added
by
System
·
2019-12-08T06:47:58Z (about 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/q/29331 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision
by
user96551
·
2019-12-08T06:47:58Z (about 5 years ago)
I'm trying to describe an action (_a gust of wind blows_) and its result (_the flame is doused_) and its subsequent effect (_the room is plunged into darkness_). However, I'm facing some issues with how to present them in a way which feels immediate. The sentences that I've come up with are as below but all of them feel perfectly ok to me: > - The flames were suddenly doused by a gust of wind as the room was plunged into darkness. > - The room was plunged into darkness as the flames were suddenly doused by a gust of wind. > - A gust of wind suddenly doused the flames, plunging the room into darkness. (I know that each sentence just changes the subject which is focused on but then how do I decide which subject is to be focused on?) As an extension of this question, How do I decide which sentence feels correct in a particular scenario when multiple structures feel perfect to me?
#1: Imported from external source
by
System
·
2017-07-23T20:01:20Z (over 7 years ago)
Original score: 2