Is it okay to have my family edit my book?
Okay, I don't really have any friends who write. (or in general) And I wanted to know if it was too biased for my family to edit my writing.
My mom likes to read my stuff and I let her fix grammar mistakes all the time, but would their opinion be biased towards me if they do this and I won't receive constructive criticism from them?
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Sure. But the problem is not just bias, the problem is that, in most families, your mother or father or brother cannot tell you the truth if the truth is they hated it, or were bored and skipped a hundred pages, or cannot bring themselves to comment truthfully on their child's explicit sex scene.
If you do, I would warn them up front you are going to ask them, "What was the worst writing you read here?" And you expect a real answer. Don't ask them to be brutal, and don't tell them "don't hold back", because chances are you don't mean it. Ask them to tell you what needs work.
Or ask them to complete a questionnaire, so you can ask real questions, and remind them you really want to publish so finding reasons to praise you is not being kind. Being kind is helping you see what did not work in their opinion (so they cannot be wrong, it is just their opinion).
What is their best guess as to why a professional would reject it? What was unbelievable? What is below par? The love scenes? The sex scenes? What part confused them the most? What did they think this story was about?
Tell them, in the end, you want to send this to a stranger, and you don't want that stranger to put it down after five minutes and stamp it "rejection letter #1".
You should not argue with them or try to explain. Your chance to do that was in the book and you failed. Just soak it in, even if it burns. Be a pro. Acknowledge what they are saying. Laugh at yourself if you can. You don't necessarily have to address their issues. Take your notes (it lets you avert your eyes!) and then ask the next question.
You need a way to get honest feedback. One way you might is to set their expectations up front; that you aren't seeking and don't want praise, you want some light and to learn more about how to write.
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You should have someone with proofing and editing skills proof and edit your work.
If you have one of those people in your family, then go ahead. A professional editor should be able to put aside familial biases.
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They are your family. They will be biased. That doesn't mean they can't lend constructive criticism if you really impress on them how important it is that they be unbiased. Be very clear about saying that anything bad or even neutral can vastly help your writing - it can.
That being said, they will always be a bit biased no matter how hard they try not to be. Your family is a great place to get advice, but if you're really ready for the brutally demoralizingly-honest opinions you need to go elsewhere. Your friends are likely to less understand your need than your family, meaning they will likely only tell you the good stuff about your writing. You need a truly impartial viewer.
As it turns out, this is exactly what a freelance editor does. You can go to Fiverr.com and find plenty of people willing to edit/proofread/critique your book, generally for relatively low prices. If you want a slightly more professional experience, try looking for someone who does freelance editing as their job. Chances are it will cost more.
If you're ready for the big guns, start contacting agents. Their whole purpose is to get your book ready to be published, and that includes editing and critiquing. Be warned though: agents make money based on how well the book does, so they will be merciless.*
*It should be noted that I have never contacted an agent. While perfectly logical, this is still speculation.
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Your family may be biased, and they may be too kind, but the deeper problem is that they will be interested in your story because you wrote it and they are interested in you. Thus they are in no position to judge whether or not it will be of interest to anybody else. You need the opinion of a reader who will read your story for its own sake and judge it on its merits, not on what it reveals about you.
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