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The first issue I see here is not that the writing is repetitive but that the details are banal. That is, they are bits of everyday life that happen to everyone. They are repetitive or everyday lif...
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#4: Attribution notice removed
by
System
·
2020-01-03T20:41:55Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/30087 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#3: Attribution notice added
by
System
·
2019-12-08T06:59:09Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/30087 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision
by
System
·
2019-12-08T06:59:09Z (almost 5 years ago)
The first issue I see here is not that the writing is repetitive but that the details are banal. That is, they are bits of everyday life that happen to everyone. They are repetitive or everyday life without telling us anything specific or vivid about your character of your story. Yes, sometimes your characters live banal lives and do banal things, but detailing them just makes the writing tedious. This is the time to tell rather than show. If you cannot skip the banal parts of their life altogether, state them as briefly as possible and get on to the parts of the story that are vivid and distinct. The details you want in a story are the "telling details", the details that tell a story for themselves, the details that bring a hundred other details rushing into the reader's head. Some of the most vivid passages in literature are very brief, but they make excellent use of telling details to highlight the exceptional in a vivid way. Focus on what is vivid and original in your story, not what is routine and banal and the feeling of repetition is likely to disappear of its own accord.
#1: Imported from external source
by
System
·
2017-09-05T00:58:58Z (about 7 years ago)
Original score: 9