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Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/30141
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/30141
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

It is difficult to tell from your question and examples, but generally different action lines are similar to paragraphs in prose: There is no hard and fast rule for when they break off; it is basically at the end of one thought or description, and the beginning of another thought or description.

In film, something that would or could or should be shot with its own camera deserves a 'break' to a new paragraph. In your prose, the toddler putting on makeup is a scene by itself. The break would be appropriate here because the POV and camera angle changes; we would CUT TO BATHSEBA POV here (although I note, this is not exactly written from that POV, since she cannot see the unicorn or snow globe).

I would say that after "she is sidetracked" might demand another camera angle and focus to the outside of the house, with the man walking the dog, and therefore deserve its own break.

Be more specific than "noise outside the house", that could be a jet plane or a bus passing by. It is BARKING, or a man SCOLDING somebody, or something like that.

A break does not have to demand a new camera angle; it can be a natural pause in action or the start of a new action.

> Roger stood on the sidewalk watching the stock ticker roll by. It had to come up sooner or later.
> 
> Finally, there it was: XYZ, down 40% now. He SIGHED, closing his eyes for a moment, then turned his back on the marquee, unsure where to go next.

Original score: 1