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Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/q/1984
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

I would like to know if I'm doing something wrong (according to writing standards) in the following conversation and how to improve it to help readability, quality and feeling (making it more interesting).

Introduction part:

> “Uhm...excuse me, are you Dr. Aide?” she asks with a shy voice.
> 
> “Yes.” he replies.
> 
> “My...my name is Luna, I a new nurse here. I will assist you from tomorrow.” she says.
> 
> “I see.” he replies.
> 
> Then he continues, “please take a sit.”
> 
> She sits in front of him feeling a bit awkward.
> 
> “Do you wanna some?” he says while holding the bottle of vodka.
> 
> “OK, but...just a little.” she replies.
> 
> He fills the glass until the middle.
> 
> They keep in silence for some seconds while drinking, then Luna breaks the silence, “Do you always stay so late Mr Aid?.”
> 
> “Yes, I spend almost 24 hours in this place.”
> 
> “You must love your job.”
> 
> “Not really.” he says.
> 
> After some seconds he continues. “Actually I’ve been thinking of quitting.”

Other dialogue:

> “So what’s your definition of a mental illness?.” he asks,
> 
> She thinks for a while and replies, “someone who can’t adapt himself to society.”
> 
> He holds the bottle and says, “It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society. Jiddu Krishnamurti.”
> 
> “What does that mean?.” she asks.
> 
> “What if a society is sick already by itself? Then we need another meaning; any behaviour that threatens humanity and the ecosystem in direct and indirect ways.” he replies.

(I've haven't corrected grammar yet.)

Original score: 3