Can my paragraph use better adjectives and descriptions?
I feel my punctuation is all over the place, and the adjectives are not as charming as I think they are. If anyone has watched the beginning of the first Lord of the Rings, where the hobbit is lying in that green meadow, and you think to yourself that that is where you want to be, that's kind of the environment I attempted to describe.
Writers these days don't often get the luxury of lying in a green meadow, with tall trees and green grass, and birds chirping silently and lakes drifting calmly, and the sky blue-er than blue. This would be the most wonderful environment to write in, as there can be no distractions, and so much inspiration lies everywhere around you. Today, the ones who love to write away all their fears and hopes are stuck in a loud noisy environment, filled with distractions and annoyances. Every writer needs their own "writing spot", a place where they can come write without worrying about anything else. It’s their green meadow, so to speak.
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1 answer
If you're trying to capture the feel of drifting on a summer's day in a perfect green glade, then if anything you need to be even more stream-of-consciousness than you are now. Read up on Gerard Manley Hopkins and "sprung rhythm" and see what you can do with that.
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